I'm not a writer, just pretending. So thanks if you read this, if you read this and respond, or even if you decide not to read and/or respond.
This exercise in my own self expression has been for me to grow, to let it out so that it doesn't eat me up inside, my release, to free myself of the belief that anything is that serious or that important and that I am more a spiritual being just checking out this human experience, existence for this short time in a place where the argument is time and space really don't matter.
It's been a year now that I relocated to Santa Fe from Chicago to start a new chapter in my life.
An incredible year!
A moment for me to soak it all up...meeting new people. Those I liked, and didn't like, those who maybe liked or didn't like me. Made some friends, lost some friends.
Lots of firsts, stepping out of my comfort zone often, saying yes to opportunities, being more available for the ridiculous than my reality.
Embarrassed and rejected. Gaining confidence then losing it, then gaining it again. Doubting myself, fearing what I can't see, it's not the truth. Trusting, believing, knowing, still working on it.
Feeling like I've failed - huh- at what? It's only through this life and all my experiences that I learn to tweak things that perhaps haven't worked out the way I thought they should, or the way I planned or the way I think things should be just to come to the understanding that there is a better plan out there I probably just haven't seen it yet.
Spent a lot of time getting to know myself. Grateful to have the luxury of all this time just to focus on me. Hoping to be wiser, kinder. Absolutely evolved spiritually, lots of practice. So much happier even with all my quirks, or faults or whatever someone else may think is lacking in me.
A year of hello's and goodbye's.
Hello to renewing my lease for another year!
Hello to several new career opportunities!
Hello to my dreams coming true!
Hello to the amazing women I have become, that's right!
Goodbye to my old story.
Goodbye to the guilt.
And mostly goodbye to my Dad who will now live on only in my heart and memories.
Truly, what a year this has been.
Looking back at how easy it was for me to decide to make this change and how difficult the change actually was....still
Checking this one off my to do list.